Right, no pussy footing around, lets get into it, the horse steroids have started to take effect so hopefully my eyes wont bleed too much watching this.

Hang on!.... Whats this! Fielding looks really ill, her hairs changed and she has a dog! now th.... oh hang on, its the opening cartoon credits...sorry....

Ok, I blame Gin personally... here we are, Boys Hall, Kent. For those of you unsure where Kent is, Antix kindly shows you a 'satellite' view of the World, focusing in to Kent. Thanks for that Antix, a map would have sufficed. The building itself is truly magnificent, (and on the market apparently, oh for a lottery win).

Fielding (the real one this time, not the cartoon one..) informs us that it is said that the building is a 'portal' for spirits. (As opposed to a port hole, which I think you'll find on a ship). Although she fails to mention who actually says this.Cut to camera shots of the interior of the house, nice bloody fridge! You think it comes with the house sale?....

Cut to Fielding, using her best Jackanory voice, recounts many tales of woe and horror whilst hiding behind the worlds biggest vase. Seriously, what would you put in that? A triffid? Anyway.. I digress....

'The night before sleepover'
I really don't know why they do this bit, but anyway, its Fielding and Beattie, with some of the scariest moments so far, and thats just the extreme close ups of Fielding in night vision. Someone (Beattie) touches her and she hears a high pitched whine (The onset of Gastric flu?) But for anyone who videoed this, just take a look at Beatties face as the shot fades, I think it says it all.What a smug grin.....

Ok paused it, The horse steroids are not working, this is going to be hard work. I shall return with a large Irish coffee. (Minus the cream) (oh...and the coffee)

More ramblings from Fielding about this and that, horses, stables blah blah. Oh who's this...an eye witness! "Lloyd James" (who I believe actually lives there) Listen Lloyd, if there are any malevolent spirits around it is because, and I mean only because, of your hair. I was getting annoyed about it and I'm not even there! Your not 23 anymore Lloyd, get over the midlife crisis and sort yourself out.

Now we have "Rose Dixon" a 'guest Medium' (who obviously outstayed her welcome as she is never mentioned again...)
She said "it wasn't until I went upstairs that I felt uncomfortable", yep, that'll be your hips love.
She also "picked up a frustrated female". Yep, once more the spirit of my ex wife comes through again.....(She's not dead your understand although there were times when it felt that wa..... never mind)

Now we have more of Fielding auditioning for Tales of the Crypt, recounting yet another story, well, it sets the scene doesn't it....

Cut back to Lloyd (still got his hair gelled, making spirit very unhappy). He explains how on first arrival at the house "they hurriedly unpacked all their boxes and hung some porcelain jelly molds on the kitchen wall". Nothing like prioritising is there?

"Have you found the bedding and the kettle yet dear?"
"Shut up, got to get these jelly molds hammered on the wall first"

I'm the same myself.

He explains that while friends of his were in the kitchen, one of the jelly molds flew off the wall and smashed. Which I think translates to his friend saying "Whats this tat on the wall? Oh sh*t, dropped it. Sod it, Tell Lloyd a ghost did it, while your at it, mention about his hair again can you?"

Now to Mr Wells, he talks about people kissing skeletons (ex wife, been there... blah blah) and ghosts scared of ghosts, now this is a new one on me, just getting interested and then the adverts arrive. Time for more Irish coffee....no hang on Carol Vordeman.. maybe I'll wait a bit...

They're back, and they are all nine foot tall!! Oh no, its a low ceiling, bugger, that would have been good...
Wells is now doing something disturbing with a teddy bear, its making him emotional... what about the bloody bear!! Its going to need some extensive counseling.
Yep, you've guessed it, Wells has found children again, at least this time they're not playing on the edge of a cliff I suppose... Why am I not surprised when Wells describes a dress as "very Mills and Boon"?

Right, going to pass over all this drivel coming out of Wells now, its totally meaningless and without any evidence to back it up. That and he's really starting to annoy me now.....

Into the stable, of course in night vision, and surprise surprise, something is thrown! Yay!!! It shows up as 'hot' on the thermal camera, this disturbs me, are we not told that spirit energy is cold? So something that is thrown and is hot, would maybe have come from, and I'm guessing, Stuarts someones pocket? Its just a stab in the dark (what is what this lot should have in my opinion...)

Seance time. Fielding doing the "someones blowing on my hand!" routine. How many times must we be put through this?......(Nothing on camera, thermal etc etc)

Lets explore the house, must we? Oh go on then, but if my eyes start bleeding, I'm going.
There's 'scratching' Yawn. (Mice? Rats? A family of Howler Monkeys?)
Someones stomach rumbles, and it MUST be a ghost. Why do they always ask "are we in danger? please knock for yes" In danger?
Headlines: "Woman killed by ghost". Yep, sick of reading that in The Mail.

Brilliant!! Oh I hope someone else videoed this, Karl says "Lets try the dining room". As they are leaving one of the rooms, the camera pans past Stuart as he is GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF HIS POCKET!!!!!