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John
Edward
 Psychic Douchebag.
According to his website, Edwards has "brought a fresh, honest
and thought provoking attitude to the world of psychic phenomena".
Personally speaking I feel all he has done is given
us a great new reason to use the word 'Douchebag' in a different context.
I record a lot of his "Crossing Over"
programs and try and transcribe them. On doing so it is clear that this Douche is a 'cold
reader', and not a very good one.
In one episode, he asked a member of his audience 28
questions, and gave her 3 answers, all of which were incorrect. This was deemed "contact with her relative".
Ok,
lets look at that. She told him 28 pieces of information about her dead relative. He told her 3 pieces of information, all
of which were wrong. He's good isnt he?
Transcribing Edwards is hard work.
The man speaks so quickly, generally using 50 words to say very little. Its a surefire way to break a video recorder, my 'pause'
and 'rewind' buttons are now just empty holes in my remote control.
I shall put the transcripts here as I do them,
you'll have to be patient, its slow work!.....
He was talking to a woman who had already
said she had lost her son.
JE: I'm going to say to you jerry, George, Georgie, where does that come in, thats your
moms brother in law? your moms brother?
Pick a name, any name.
I have a brother in law jerry.
Fantastic!
JE:Thats
your side?
Thats my husbands side.
JE:So its your husbands sisters husband?
Eh?
No
its my husbands brother.
That'll be a brother in law then....
JE:thats not it, this is on your moms side
of the family, its on your moms side of the family, like George, Georgie Gerry Gerard its like a gr sound but its on your
moms side of the family.
Pick a name, add another or two...
Juli...a.....male?
JE:like Georgie,
or jerry or jerardy, jury...thats the sound it has, but its the side of the family, did someone commit suicide?
Jerardy??
Jury?? better change the subject, lets choose suicide..
Yes.
JE:All righty then thats the side of the
family, its kinda letting like letting me know where this goes, (Im glad you know where its going John) but
I want you to know that your son is ok and hes seeing this as a way of coming through today courtesy of the family. Hes showing
me pink roses, (Oh pleeeease, not the bloody roses) to me thats the way of them expressing their love.
You
mean rather than saying "tell mum I love her"?
Hes told me today is a big day for you, I don't know if theres
another event today happening in your family? Or today is somebodies birthday, but hes planting me to around now, so its usually
this today, yesterday, tomorrow, something around right now is big.
Ok, you said he told you TODAY, but it might
be yesterday or tomorrow...
Well its just so special that were here and being in new york for the first time
JE:I
would say being in new york for the first time... I'm flattered you say your here but I don't think thats what he means. Theres
more than that I think that today has another meaning and you might not remember why until you get out of here (even
though he said it was BIG) and it might be another validation (another validation!!) like its his grandmothers
birthday or that theres another event thats happening right around now thats escaping your mind, part of your family, are
you divorced from his dad?
Yep, buggered that one up as well, lets change the subject..divorce...
Yeah.
Well
that was a 50/50 shot
JE:Thats just a backup way of validating what I just said, (you bloody what?)hes
also talking about the alcohol connection, you understand that?
Ok, so that could be an alcoholic, an owner of a
bar, a bad experience with beer, a hangover etc etc..
Oh yes...
JE:we wont go into it (cause he
has no idea about it) I want you to understand that I'm interpreting this correctly. He tells me that Brandy, or Bandit
the dog is with him, so that dog is with him. Did I get the name right or wrong?
Right. Her dead son has a dog with
him, now we have to guess its name.
Thats the wrong name but...
Two names, both wrong
JE:Its
not Bandit or Brandy?
Of course it is John, she's just lying to wind you up.
No.
JE:Damn, I
would have put money on that. Really??
For Gods sake, REALLY! Its not called bloody Brandy or Bandit!
How
about "Gumby"
Ah.. 'Gumby'. You were so close John..
JE:Whats this lets make a dog deal?
Sorry?
JE:I
know he's got a dog with him, but he's showing me Smokey and the Bandit, Its got that sound to it like Brandy, Bandit, ber....
I'm not going to do it...
So he definitely has a dog with him....
Bunny?
JE:Is that a dog?
Youre
the psychic, go on, you tell us
Yes.
JE:Has it passed?
Why dont you know this?
No.
JE:Thats
not it then
Bugger...
JE:I'm leaving it as Brandy or Bandit
Because if I say your dog was
called that, it was.
(The sister thinks a bit, in fact you can see the cogs going round, before she says...)
We
once had a thing where we watched Smokey and the bandit because we couldn't remember the dogs name so we watched it.
JE:This
just happened?
Well....
JE:You and he did that?
Yeah me and him
JE:Forget the dog
thing, thats what he wants me to say. He kept like hitting.....
Forget the dog?? Twice youve said he has a dog with
him, weve been arguing about its name and now you tell us to forget it?
He said like whats the name of that
stupid dog.....
JE:Ok, that being said, he's got the dog with him as well but its not naming..... its his way of
referencing it to you.
Oh hang on a bloody minute, the dogs back! and we STILL dont know what its called! "Its his
way of referencing it to you". What, the dog? The film?.................
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